Taking back Nationalism

Ever since the Germans goose-stepped their way across Europe in WWII, nationalism as a political concept hasn’t been the same. Sure, people still love their countries, but the minute you try and unite people behind a common national identity, critics start coughing “Aryan” behind your backs. It has been demoted to an extreme right wing ideology, serving xenophobic regimes the world over, fed by the fear of confused citizens.

Things have only gotten worse since the War on Terror. Once Bush decided that patriotism was an interchangeable word with loyalty – America’s unique brand of nationalistic passion has become a tool of oppression. If you don’t agree with the Bush Administration (and don’t eat all your Freedom Fries), you’re not a patriot, and increasingly, you’re Un-American. Like every other trend in the US, this one is catching on here, with everything from flag burning, to fare evasion (and everything in between) dubbed Un-Australian. In fact, 87% (it feels like that many doesn’t it?) of all stories on A Current Affair, contain behaviour considered Un-Australian.

Well, I don’t care for it. This administration vows to reverse these ugly trends and return a love for your country to a top national priority (we also plan to abolish crap current affairs shows). Our change to a republic will now doubt require a change of flag – but that flag will be flown proudly from the flagpole in every front yard, draped enthusiastically around our victorious athletes, and planted heroically on all of our conquered territories.