Driving Commandments

Ah the Vatican, I love it how they keep their finger on the pulse. Only 100 or so years after the mass production of the automobile, they’ve decided to update their regular 10 Commandments and issue 10 ‘Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road’. It’d almost be funny if they didn’t issue them with a straight face. According to theologians the 36-page report was aimed at curbing increasingly unacceptable driving behaviour like road rage and hit-and-runs.

However, the guidelines also encourage people to pray while driving - something that nutbags like the Rev. Steven Sabo of Christ the King Church says he already practices. “I pray the rosary when I drive,” he said. “Unlike cell phones, prayer offers you a direct line to God.” That sounds real safe Rev. Sabo (nothing like being mid rosary when a kid runs in front of your car). My view is that in Australia at least we already have ‘guidelines’ for driving – we call them LAWS. We even have uniformed people who enforce said laws. It’s really a very convenient system, relying significantly less on an omnipresent, omniscient creator and much more on mutually agreed values. For the record, the full 10 are listed below, in case you’re seeking divine driving inspiration.

1 - You shall not kill (I’m sure I’ve heard this one before)
2 - The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3 - Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4 - Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents.
5 - Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6 - Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7 - Support the families of accident victims.
8 - Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9 - On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10 - Feel responsible toward others.

The good people at the Daily show gave this report a much fuller and funnier treatment than I, so enjoy.